New Years Eve was kinda crazy. M had a rougher night than I did and he was still snoring away by midday, but I woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed and ready to take on the day. It took a lot of nudging and loud throat clearing to get M out of bed. I'd usually let him sleep in but I was hungry and the tummy grumbles were getting louder by the minute.

My first meal of the year centered around a bowl of the clear beef noodle soup I mentioned the other day. Why the clear kind that day? Clear. For clarity in the new year. I was feeling a bit metaphorical that day. 

A side of bright green watercress for health. This might be a good time to mention that I'm also trying to give up drinking this year. Well, not totally give it up. That's just being unreasonable.. It's more like.. I'm going to drink for pleasure and not for show.

I met up with Mingni after breakfast and went on a little road trip to Qian Shui Bay. Just a little one to remember to get away once in a while.

The beach was the best place to be on the first day of the year. The ones in Taiwan are so underrated. Listening to the sounds of waves crashing onto the shore while watching the sun set in the distance was really therapeutic. It was freezing by the water so I only stayed for about an hour but it gave me some time to reflect on 2014. 2015 is going to be a major year for me, and I think I needed to take those deep breathes and the few moments of clarity.

rant ahead, proceed with caution

I say it's going to be major because I'm about to enter my final semester of college, and what comes after that? Either more school or the "real world." I think I'm done with school (at least for now) so that just leaves me with the latter, and I've never been more ready to pull my hair out. 

Nobody really tells you what's next after college. When you apply for university as a senior in high school, there's a certain order of steps you need to follow and a very systematic way to narrow down your options. You have counselors who literally hound you (at least mine did) for drafts of your application essays and friends you can band together with cause you're going all going through the same thing. You're confident that you're bound to get in somewhere, and not only that, there's a sense of fearlessness within you as a 17-18-year old. Or maybe it's just the "whateverness" of being a teenager.

These past couple of weeks, I have been reading and rereading my resume. Writing cover letter after cover letter. Regretting every single application I've sent out because I think I could have come up with something wittier or more interesting to say. These employers probably have hundreds of applications to go through, and I know I can do just as good a job as anyone out there, but how can I put that across on a one-page letter?

I hate waking up feeling down, but getting out of bed these days have been especially hard knowing that the rest of the day will be just like the last: full of reading job descriptions and editing my LinkedIn profile. I feel like I'm just floating. Stuck underwater. I don't know what's next. Is this what they call the quarter life crisis? 

Now that that rant is over, my final resolution is to stop being a worrywart and just ride the wave. That's what every successful person I've spoken to has told me. If you just do what you want and love, eventually, you'll be where you want to be. Fingers crossed I'll have my own success story some day. 

P.S. To the stranger who asked me on my Tumblr to make an ask.fm account, here ya go: ask.fm/cheersisabelle